As I sit here this morning, looking out my window while the rain pitter patters against my house, I feel as though my heart will burst. I just finished reading my friends blog about her baby and the tears just keep flowing from my eyes. Her baby, Caris, only lived on this earth for a very short six days, but in those six days, she brought so many people closer together. I originally planned on writing about my frustrations with Abigail over her homework issues, but after reading Maggie's blog, I realize how blessed I am to even be ABLE to have frustrations of doing homework with Abigail. My friend will not experience that with Caris. My heart breaks for her and for all of the things that she will not get to experience with her baby that I take for granted. I was so frustrated last night that it took Abigail almost TWO hours to write 15 measley sentences using her site words, instead I should be thanking God that I HAD two hours of craziness that I was able to experience with her. Life is what you make of it, and it should not be taken for granted. I love both of my girls more than anything in the world, and there is nothing that I would not do for them. Homework with them is a challenge though, and one I do not look forward to. Abigail is stubborn, like me. If she decides she doesn't want to do something, it is like pulling teeth from a roaring lion in order to get her to do what I ask her to do. Last night I was at my breaking point. My mom stepped in and took her upstairs to have her complete her sentences before I had a complete meltdown. I "almost" regret heaping that ordeal on my poor mother, but I am so thankful she offered. She probably regrets it as when I went to check on them an hour later, my moms beautiful red hair had more gray in it then ever. I think a big chunk of it was missing too. I attribute that to her pulling her hair out while Abigail continued to argue over each and every sentence. I only lasted through one sentence, my poor mother had to endure it for fourteen more! Before my mom stepped in to help, it took Abigail twenty minutes to write a single sentence using the word "bread". Really?? She wanted me to spell the word "jelly" for her and once I refused she reverted back to acting like a 2 year old. Legs and arms flailing about, whining and continuously saying: "I can't do it mommy." To which I replied: "You CAN, and you WILL." Sometimes I feel as though I am too hard on my girls when it comes to their education, but I want them to succeed. I want them to excel. I want them to go to college and have an amazing career. I want for them what I did not have. Abigail is smart, but it is something she has to work at. It does not automatically come naturally for her, she puts a lot of effort into doing her personal best. Once she calmed down and wrote her sentence, "jelly" was spelled correctly. Sitting here this morning though, I think I was not grateful enough for the privilege of being able to teach my daughter something, if that something was only pure stubborness on my part to make her spell the word "jelly" on her own. I should savor each and every moment in my childs life, but I must admit that I have a very hard time enjoying the homework phase of her life.
When we returned home from family night, Abigail expressed how sorry she was that it took her so long to complete her sentences. She proceeded to tell me that while "time-out" may seem like a good idea at the time, it really was not in my best interest. She told me that if I put her in a time-out, it would take her an additional 7 minutes to complete her homework, and maybe even longer if I made her go in time-out more than once. She continued to tell me it could take 14 minutes longer, maybe even 21 minutes longer....maybe even 28 minutes longer!! I guess I should be grateful that she was incorporating math into her lesson, albeit at the expense of me! I wish they had a "Sarcasm" course in school, or a "Witty" course, as my child would excel in that without even having to crack open a book. I guess I should blame myself, as sarcasm tends to be part of my daily repertoire.
I am thankful for the time I do get to spend with my two amazing children though, and I thank God every day that they are in my life. While I may battle with them over homework, I know how blessed I am to even experience that. My friend Maggie reminded me of that this morning.
~Kerrie
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