Walking the trail...it's not a good thing.

Yesterday was a day full of information. It is not a normal occurrence, but my girls decided to open up about their day at school. Granted, I think I received a whole weeks worth of information in one conversation, but it was nice to finally get a response other than the normal "nothing" when asked what they did at school today.

Abigail started off the conversation by immediately telling me that Kaelin had to "walk the trail". In my mind, I thought this might be something that was awarded to her for being good. I thought that maybe it was like a nature trail where she could find pretty leaves or maybe even a frog. No, that was not the case. Apparently, if you are not doing as you are told, instead of playing with the other kids at recess, you are forced to "walk the trail". Certainly my darling little 5 year old daughter was not subjected to this? She is normally well behaved in school. I turned to Kaelin to ask her exactly what happened and of course her first response was: "It's not my fault mommy". Sighing, I thought to myself....it never is. How many times will a parent hear that response from their children in a lifetime? Countless times, I've come to realize. Kaelin proceeded to explain in great detail why it was not her fault. Apparently a little boy in her class was having trouble opening the door, so Kaelin, being the ever kind, helpful person she is, decided to help him. She got out of line and opened the door for him. This earned her the reward of "walking the trail". I knew before she opened her little mouth what the next words would be. "It's not fair mommy!" I was correct, and silently chuckled to myself. Kaelin, I asked, what exactly were you supposed to be doing? Kaelin: I should have been standing in line, not talking, and not even moving. I continued with the line of questioning, feeling as though I was interrogating my child. What were you doing instead, I asked? Kaelin: I was being KIND mommy. Jeez, she said.....you tell me ALL the time to be kind, don't you think opening a door for him was being kind? I should not have to walk the trail for being kind to one another!

I explained to Kaelin that while I was proud of her for being "kind", there was an alternate way of handling things. She should have let her teacher know that the little boy was having trouble with the door and she should have asked if she could get out of line to help him. She looked at me with her most adorable face and again replied that "it just wasn't a good day".

 I'm sure there is more to the story other than her just stepping out of line to open a door. I'm quite certain there must have been a lot of talking and playing associated with the incident. To be frank, I'm surprised she isn't made to "walk the trail" more often. I've never received any notes home from the teacher, but Kaelin is my child who likes to get into anything and everything she can lay her chubby little hands on. As a baby, she was the most content, quiet, loving child. Abigail was a good baby, but even in her infant stage, I noticed Abigail would be moody. Abigail would sometimes look at people with the "if looks could kill" face when they just said hello to her. Kaelin was different, she would just smile and coo at everyone. Little did I know what I was in store for when she became mobile. It never ceases to amaze me how two children raised identically in the same household can hold such completely different personalities. Abigail is my "observer". She's cautious of people, she studies her surroundings and then decides which path she will take. Kaelin is my "bull in a China shop" for lack of better terminology. She has no regard for anything, and just barrels in and destroys anything in her path. She never thinks about consequences, she just does whatever makes her happiest at that moment. It started as soon as she became mobile. She was a "climber". I found her once, literally on top of my refrigerator. I still, to this day, have no clue how such a little body could manage to climb to the tippy top of the refrigerator and stand proudly on it. I also found her dangling once from the top of her closet. Before you judge me, I must point out that I do watch my kids. Kaelin tends to do things in a split second. I have to watch her like a hawk. I have had countless things glued to my walls, furniture moved around the house, flowers picked out of my garden, and even have had lovely little critters hopping all over my house. This was her "bug" phase. Until her obsession with frogs came into play, she loved crickets and worms. Her fascination with worms wore off once she realized they did not turn into beautiful butterflies.

Abigail is the complete opposite. She would not touch a cricket or God forbid, a worm, if you paid her to. She never climbed anything, never really destroyed anything in the house. She gets quite upset if her room is a mess, if all of her stuffed animals aren't arranged "just so" on her bed. Kaelin's room looks as though a bomb exploded in the middle of it. Abigail is a perfectionist. She gets upset if her writing is messy, she will erase and start over countless times. Kaelin....not so much. I have thought of duct taping her to the chair just to get her to practice her writing. She would much rather hurry through it than take pride in her work.

The other thing I learned from my children about their "day" at school was that elementary school is certainly not how I remember it. Kaelin advised me she had a new student in her class, but only for one afternoon. Confused, I asked her why only one day? Abigail told me it wasn't really a new student, it was actually a student from her class. I must have had a really puzzled look on my face which Abigail picked up on immediately. Why would a 2nd grade student be sent to a Kindergarten class for a day? Apparently, three girls in Abigail's class were fighting with each other and it became so intense that the Principal decided to separate the girls and put them each in another class for the remainder of the day. Certainly this could not be true. Second grade? Fighting? From what I was told, bad language was thrown around, some hair pulling and even pushing. This all from 7 or 8 year old children. It saddens me as I did not think this would happen this early in their lives. I thought middle school would be the rough years, and if they were lucky, maybe not until high school would they be subjected to knock down, drag out fights. On top of this, Abigail informed me that the Principal also had to have a talk to her class about stealing. Apparently, school supplies are being stolen on a regular basis from the classroom. This is a second grade class!! They attend one of the best schools in my city, this should not be happening.

After learning of these events which transpired all in "one" day, I sat my girls down and had a nice long chat with them. We discussed the proper way to behave in school, why fighting was unacceptable, why stealing should never be tolerated, etc. Only then did I learn that the aforementioned events have taken place over a week or so, not just all in one day as originally presented. Whew....thank God for small things, I thought. If all of that happened in just one day, what would a whole week look like? I must admit, I am almost afraid to ask them today about their school day, and I've only just dropped them off. I have the whole morning to muster up the courage to want to hear what has transpired today.

In light of everything my girls shared with me yesterday, I realized I am extremely proud of my children. They are both on the Honor Roll and each semester they have both been awarded a certificate for showing Responsibility, Respect, Safety & Learning. They have also each received the "Citizen of the Month" award. If the worst thing they do is having to be made to "walk the trail", maybe walking such said trail is not as bad as I originally thought.

~Kerrie